As promised, Spike met me on the Great Porch of Dragonsreach in the morning.
When I asked why I couldn't have just sought out Alduin on my own, Spike explained that he was hiding in a place that would not be accessible to mere mortals, even if I was the Dragon Whore. He said that I had the libido of a dragon, but what I needed were the wings of one.
I gotta admit, soaring through the crisp mountain air, the wind in my hair, it was an incredible feeling. Almost as good as sex. Almost.
I only truly came to grips with Spike's comment about this place being inaccessible to mortals when he told me where he'd brought me. I was standing in Sovngarde itself, Shor's Great Hall of Valor looming in the distance.
I had to bid Spike farewell at this point, as he wouldn't be able to continue any further. But he reassured me that I would not have to face Alduin alone. So I made my way to Shor's Hall.
I was greeted by the gatekeeper, Tsun, who demanded to know by what right I asked to enter, a mortal who had not yet met her demise in glorious combat on the battlefield.
"By right of conquest," I told him. "I am Dragon Whore." He seemed impressed by that, but still maintained that I would have to face the warrior's test to gain entry.
His size did present a bit of a problem, but I wouldn't be the Dragon Whore if I didn't know how to work around those kinds of problems by now.
Upon my arrival, I was greeted by the legendary Ysgramor himself. I mentioned that I'd heard a lot about him, and that maybe we ought to spend some quality time together before I proceed. He politely declined, casting a furtive glance at a strapping Nord hero close by.
Boy, I'd sure love to see the looks on the faces of the Companions if they knew that their founding father was gay. Not that I'm judging. How he leads his life, or afterlife as it were, is his business, after all.
But he did direct me towards the help Spike had mentioned. Here in the Nord Hall of Heroes I met the Dragon Whores that had come before me, Hakon One-Eye, Felldir the Old and Gormlaith Golden-Hilt. I was in the presence of legends, even as they accepted me as one of their own.
The four of us ventured out in front of the Great Hall, and they taught me the Shout that would show our defiance and challenge Alduin to face our combined might.
Admittedly, the Shout itself was a little silly. Basically it went like this: "Hey, Alduin! What's the matter? You chicken!?" Well, it did the job. The World-Eater was approaching!
Together we faced the black dragon, and banished his dark spirit to the moon through the magic of our friendship! ... Wait, why the hell did I just say that?
At any rate, Nightmare Alduin was defeated, and I stood victorious among the heroes of old.
Before I left Sovngarde, I wanted to take the opportunity to thank my comrades in arms the only way I knew how. "Ladies first," I told Gormlaith.
So this is why they also used to call them the 'Tongues.'
Hakon and Felldir were very patient. They knew that, by my honor as a fellow Dragon Whore, I would get around to them eventually.
I bade my comrades farewell, promising to return once my time in the mortal realm would reach its inevitable end. But for now, Spike would take me home.
We arrived at the summit of High Hrothgar, where Celestia, Luna and even Derpy were already expecting us. Only after heartfelt congratulations and thanks, did I realize what was about to happen. Their role in this world, as my mentors and guides, had come to an end. They were going home as well, to Equestria.
A day of triumph turned into a tearful goodbye. I'm sure gonna miss them, especially Derpy. Many hugs and snuggles were exchanged before they stepped through the portal back to their own world.
As for me, I felt a little empty once they were gone. My quest was done. I'd brought peace to Skyrim, saved the world and built a successful business from nothing almost as an afterthought. What else was there to be done?
But if there's one thing I've learned about Skyrim, it's that this is a land of limitless opportunities. I'm sure I'll find something, or someone, to occupy my time with.
But for the time being, I think I deserve a break.
The End?
